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29 January 2017   Holli Maurer

My name is Holli, and I am a Facebook addict.

I wake up throughout the night and if I can’t sleep (which is most the time) I scroll through Facebook to see what everyone did that day. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I spend the first ten minutes of my day scrolling through the “On This Day” page of my TWO Facebook accounts. I believe in having an account for work/professional purposes, and then having one account for personal family things. Furthermore, when I got divorced I tried to keep the ex-hubs family “in the loop” about Little, so I kept them on the professional page. Eventually, they whittled themselves down to an ex-hubs family, Party of One. 

One day this past summer, someone tagged me in a post and I got automatically got added to a Closed Group called, “LulaRoe by Shannon and Kelly.” I was totally aggravated that someone automatically added me to a random group without my permission. I quickly signed onto my computer, loaded up Facebook, and began investigating this so called closed group. 

What I stumbled on was a live broadcast of two women – Shannon and Kelly – obviously. I squinted at the computer examining these two girls. I realized that Kelly and I had gone to high school together; TWENTY years ago. I typed a message to her randomly, and then grabbed my coffee cup and sat there at watched her because Big and Little were gone and I honestly had nothing better to do.

As I found out, LulaRoe is a direct sales company who’s claim to fame is “Where Fashion Meets Comfort.” I have another tag line for the company that would absolutely be a true statement. Ready for it? Here it is: 

LulaRoe: Where Women Lose Their Freaking Minds about Comfortable, Crazy Looking Leggings.

Let me explain to you how this goes down. My two friends do a live broadcast on Facebook into this “closed group” of now over 2,000 women. Those 2,000 women watch the live show, and if they like the clothing items that the gals show, they type the word SOLD into the chat section of the show. This is all fine and well until someone has slow internet, or two women type that word at virtually the same time. It’s absolute madness. 

Over time I kept adding myself into other Lula groups, because undoubtedly these leggings ARE amazing and DO feel “buttery” on your legs. I joke with everyone that I feel like I’m not wearing anything when I wear them. I can’t even feel them.

In October, the Lula consultants received their “Halloween inventory.” You would think that these people received blocks of gold in the mail. People were constantly asking when they’d be showing leggings, doing sneak peaks, etc. I decided to join one “album sale” one evening; this is where they upload hundreds of pictures into albums on Facebook for sale. Again, the first person to claim the leggings win. I KID YOU NOT there were grown women cursing at one another, and fighting over these pants. I watched one woman have close to temper tantrum like Little throws when his Legos don’t work the way he wants them to. I sat there watching comment after comment fly by my screen and just laughed, knowing I would never be those women. 

Fast forward to today, in 2017. I own the following LulaRoe pants, in no order. I have pants that have the following prints on them: pizza, lions, French fries, screws (my favorite), skulls, hearts (gag), Chihuahuas, safety pins and then assortment of bright colors and obnoxious designs. 

I have an app on my phone called Mercari where people can resell their LulaRoe pants; and some of these pants retail at $150 for the “unicorn” or hard to find prints. Ladies: these are LEGGINGS. If you have $150 to spend on Santa Claus leggings that you can only wear one month a year, you have a serious problem that I can’t help you with. Also, you are most likely a woman who shops for Bento Boxes for the kid’s lunches, right? I just can’t understand it. The leggings normally retail for $25 each. Admittedly, I DID get one pair off eBay for $30. That’s the most I’ve ever paid because I did have to have them immediately. (Cutest pair of black paisley pants I’ve ever seen!)

It isn’t just pants either; you can get dresses, skirts and shirts too. I thank the heavens above my addiction is with their pants only. Anyway, I have more pants than I can count and realized that I really can only wear most these items at home. Can you imagine me headed into work with Screw Pants on? I’m not so sure it’d be acceptable. 

I DID drop my son off at daycare this week when I was extremely ill, and I got back in my car afterwards and realized that I was in a hooded sweatshirt with accompanying safety pin pants. In my defense one of the teachers texted me to tell me that they were cute pants and I could pull that look off. Ha. Leave it to me to always keep it classy. 

If you haven’t started the Lula Craze and don’t know what these pants are, I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re ready to fight to the death to get the latest cool prints. You WILL be addicted and you WILL try to hide your purchases from your significant others and/or your children. Big notoriously knows every single time I have a new Lula purchase. A week ago, I was doing laundry with him and he was folding up the pizza pants. He held them up and said, “that’s it mom. I’m staging an intervention.” 

I have unsubscribed to 9 LulaRoe Facebook groups so that I can’t see the latest trends. I will never break up with Shannon and Kelly, because to date, they are the smartest business gals I know and the fastest to process and ship orders. (If you want to try these gals out, search “LulaRoe by Shannon and Kelly” on Facebook) and tell them you read the blog. Maybe they’ll give me the latest leggings I’ve been eying?

If you know Lula women who love this product, let them have quiet time to participate in online sales. I’ve missed the greatest patterns because Little was screaming through the house about something. Support them. I wallow if I don’t have the pattern I set out to get. Happy shopping! Perhaps we should all start a Lula support group?